22 Responses to “The End of Commitment”


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  1. sherri

    Allright Mister!
    Here we go! I will NEVER feel TRAPPED in a marriage because of comittment… I HAPPILY committ to the one I love …its where I WANT to be… if you choose to callit conditioning that has happened to me because of Fear basd Christian beliefs you are completely entitled to that belief…I believe I am MADE this way… when I committ to someone I dont NEED to have a ring on my finger nor a wedding certificate, I committ in my heart & THERE is stay sexually, & physically & Menatally with ONE Man… because I CHOOSE that… I dont share my sexual love or feelings with any other than the ONE person I have chosen to committ to… If I am doomed to this until death I will die happy! ;o) Much love to your “free lovin soul!”
    Love this VERY,happy & committed Hippy Chick ;o) ^t^

    • Thank you Sherri for speaking YOUR truth to me, I appreciate your feelings and perspective! I think you may be misunderstanding my viewpoint though, I did not say that just because we do not need to commit within a relationship (or anywhere else), that we cannot be or remain monogamous. The trap is when we project our truth onto other people, as to do this would be an expectation and condition for our love. Truth based love LIVES our truth, but never projects our truth onto others. To project our truth onto another human being is fear based love, and really, just simply fear. Our partners would always be free to live the life that they choose, because that is THEIR truth! And if that is to stay with us, so be it, if it means to be monogamous, so be it, if it means to date additional people as well, so be it. No expectations, just freedom! Thanks again Sherri!!! *HUGS*

  2. WOW….Scott and I were actually talking about this sort of thing about a week ago. I completely agree. :o) Great blog, Nathan!! <3

  3. Beth

    Nathan, this is beautiful. I get exactly what you mean of commitment as a contract instead of a continual choice to be with and connected to someone. As you and I have discussed prior, my choice would be to share and grow with one person who is like minded and on a similar or mutually beneficial path ;). I’ve been the person who committed out of fear of being alone in that continual Occum’s razor of Fear begat love begat fear begat hate begat emptiness. Luckily, and with much work and many wonderful people such as yourself, I no longer fear being alone. I enjoy it. I enjoy meeting people and learning more about myself via those interactions. I will enjoy the right person at the right time, be that a moment or forever. And I ALWAYS enjoy reading your work and chiming in ;).

    • I am glad that you understand this concept Beth, relating from a place of freedom and choice, and not from fear or social compliance. BEing alone is such a gift to experience, and from this space of wholeness, to BE able to connect to whoever you choose in the moment. YOU are such a light, a sponge too, of love and peace. I enjoy interacting with ya, chime in any time you wish! Thanks Beth! <3

  4. annika

    This is an extremely empowering concept. I’m imagining the blissful state of freedom and satisfaction that would result from that degree of self-fullness.
    I’d begun a list of disguised insecuruites to eliminate a couple of days ago, based on another piece you wrote. Now this one has me even more raring to get going on it.
    Truly amazing Nathan! You are a fountain of light! Thank you for being you!

    • YOU are inspiring Annika! I appreciate your journey and the road you are traveling! If you have any questions, or need any encouragement, you know where to find me, I’m always open to assisting EVERYONE! <3 *big bear hugs*

  5. Amylicious Delicious

    Hey Nathan…this is a good piece. I have been really giving this thought lately due to the fact that my relationships are not satisfying me. All of my dissatisfaction is caused by the fine, invisible, and ignored print on those “contract” ideals we live by in a fear based love state of mind/being.
    Those who have shifted or have always been living in a trust based love state of mind/being should give us newbies a break. Lol.
    Love YOU Nathan

    • Amy, you are perfect as you are, just as present and loving as you are, and just as caught up in your mind as you are–perfect. Thank YOU for sharing your feelings on the subject, and I’m glad you’re on board with releasing your fear based ideals, and moving into the truth of who you are…as evidenced by your vulnerability and transparency on this comment! YAY! Be well Amy! <3

  6. Firstly: I love your last sentence Amylicious! “Those who have shifted or have always been living in a trust based love state of mind/being should give us newbies a break. Lol”
    Teehee, sometimes I can feel that way too, I am subscribed to a lot of lightworkers newsletters, and sometimes I think “how the hell do they manage to be so fricking forgiving and free all of the time?!”

    And Nathan, it is a challenge to live day to day life and base all your decisions on love, not on fear.
    But it is a challenge I am glad to take on, since I can tell that I feel better and better each day.

    I am far from fear-free, but I now know that that is okay. At least my intentions are to reach this amazing state of mind I get glimpses of a couple of times per day. Before I got glimpses once a week, so I am slowly getting there!

    Thankyou for writing articles like these, thankyou for being you, Nathan.

    I could write a book about my gratitude to you, so I’ll just stop here, lol!

    • Martina, Martina, Martina…I sure do appreciate YOU! I agree, it can be difficult to try to will ourselves past our fear, that is why EFT has been such a gift to humanity! 😉 We no longer have to will ourselves through our fear day after day, we can just tap it away in what seems like an instant! I think you’re AWEmazing, just as fearful as you are, and just as loving as you are! ALL of you is perfect to me! I will continue to bless you with more insights and articles, and I hope that you can continue to bless me with your beautiful comments! *hugs Martina* RAWRS! <3

  7. Jeffree

    Hey Brotha! thanks for spreading the freedom to be who we are and feel the love that makes life so amazing! I love to know that i’m not alone in my thoughts and feelings! and It is refreshing to hear these truths come out out in vocabulary other than my own! It feels goooood! =)

    • Heya Jeffree! It is always refreshing indeed to meet like minded people who feel the same way about life! Keep spreading the love brother, the world needs YOU!

  8. Stardust

    Commitment and goals has brought stress, depression and illness to the people of Western society. It’s an outdated way of living, or rater, simply a false way of living. Being is the path, not chasing some status or concept that is not part of the true Self. A coherent awareness keeps one stable like a tree grounded to earth and expanding towards the sky. Having control of your mind from moment-to-moment is all that is needed. EFT, I’ve found, is really for those who are unstable and need a bandaid. If EFT was so efficient, why do people keep using it? It means they don’t have control of their minds that have been mined by the system – plus ego weighs in. Just saying…

    • Thank YOU for sharing your feelings Stardust! Yes, I feel that commitment is something that will fade rapidly over the coming years for all of humanity, not just the west.

      As for EFT, it is just a means of toying with the ego/mind and deconstructing the egoic structure, one duality at a time, it is neither good nor bad, it just is. I see it as another form of meditation, since it has the same effect at clearing the mind. To say that EFT isn’t effective is like saying meditation isn’t effective. Also, as Adyashanti says, “there is no such thing as an enlightened thought”, so “controlling the mind” isn’t the goal of EFT, rather it is releasing the thoughts in the mind, and from my vantage point, EFT is brilliant at that. Thanks again Stardust for the wonderful comment.

      • EFT is effective for some, and does nothing for others. I’ve observed and experienced this. A deep breath, while holding it, then releasing works just as good. I feel it all depends on the level of awareness of the individual. EFT is not another form of meditation, for there is no stillness and silence with EFT. They are two different things. In any case, once there is the awareness that all is one and the one is all – duality ceases. To unlearn what we have been taught by the system’s mind encompasses many things – and it always starts within. Again, EFT is for some (those who get caught up with the mind’s thoughts too often), and it is not needed for others.

        Having control of the mind, means to be able to see and feel the thoughts that come through the awareness. Once one realized that the spirit/soul/awareness is not the mind, one can simply move those thoughts aside – like moving furniture. Or rather, to simply allow them to pass through and remain grounded – knowing that those thoughts are illusions that we choose to believe in our not. I like the good ones 🙂 Good point you raised there at the end of your post 🙂

        I am not trying to imply how it is, just simply sharing what is according to direct experience and with the help of reflection – philosophy.

        I enjoyed this exchange, thank you Nathan. Keep honoring the light within…

        • For my readers sake, I would like to make a case for EFT being a form of meditation, and in my practice, a very powerful brand as well. Any practice that has the end result of quieting the mind/ego can be a form of meditation, and I can attest, with thousands of hours of EFT under my belt, that it quiets the mind permanently for each issue that is tapped on.

          As for your statement about breath being able to integrate a dualistic belief, I agree, breath, The Sedona Method, etc., are all very good ways of doing this, just as EFT is. One does not negate the other, it is just another path. I have experienced both awakening and a very profound kundalini awakening (two different events for me, see “No Ego = No More Fun?” article for the EFT video sequence that triggered my personal experience with kundalini energy) with EFT. To say that one way is better than another sounds like just another dualistic trap that our mind plays.

          “There is nothing good, nothing bad; thinking makes it so. All is God. In the worst there is God; in the best there is God. Beyond God there is nothing.” ~Yogi Bhajan

          Additionally, I would submit that “control” of the mind is in itself a form of duality, as the concept of control is an illusion…control is duality, as surrender is oneness. I will forward a copy of my most recent magazine article on control, duality, and oneness to you if you are interested.

          I too enjoyed this exchange Stardust, have a pleasant week!
          Nathan recently posted..No Ego = No More Fun?

  9. Tamara

    It’s so sad that so many men,who consider themselves brilliant, fully conscious, etc., love the sound of their own voice. It is also so sad that more and more people are wanting to make “love” a dirty word, associated with prison. There are many songs which speak of your “commitment?- no way” “live in the moment” attitude- Enjoy the moment, We’ve Got Tonight, etc. and, from the other side, Will He Still Love Me Tomorrow?– The answer is, apparently, NO! Don’t tie him down,he should be free to enjoy every moment w/ every possible sexual partner that he gets aroused by. I think that a large part of you supposed enlightened men are just wounded and afraid to FEEL, so you make up rules in the name of freedom so you can get your sexual desires fulfilled and never be hurt again.
    I have no problem with any adult making their choices as to polyamory, open marriages, etc. It is a decision for that couple. What does concern me is that you seem to be promoting YOUR path as the ONLY path. It is everyone’s personal choice.
    It just saddens me that people are choosing to not believe in the remote possibility of (gasp) loving one person for more than the duration of the intercourse experience. And even more so… could it be possible for two humans to love each other monogamously for a little more time than, oh… it takes for the sheets to cool?!
    I hope I don’t have too many hate-filled responses. I’m just barely clinging on to the remote possibility that there is even one man who wants to love one woman without feeling he is in hell. Take care of yourself.

    • Tamara, it feels like you are upset at wounded men from the place of a wounded woman, and from there, it will be impossible to find a solution to your dilemma; you are a cat chasing it’s tail in this game. In order to meet a man who is whole you must resonate with him, to do that you must find wholeness within yourself first. In this lower vibration, masculine energy has a hyper need for freedom, while feminine energy has a hyper need for security, the two of them combined trigger each other’s deepest fears, with the masculine feeling suffocated by the feminine, and the feminine feeling rejected by the masculine. Albert Einstein said (paraphrased) that you cannot solve a problem from the same space or energy from which it was created. Commitment is of the old energy, it is a lower vibration and must be transcended, the masculine and feminine energies must be mended and whole to experience anything else than the game that you are suffering in.

      Additionally, I do not teach men and women to abandon monogamy, it is one of many valid ways of experiencing romantic relating, I teach conscious relating, and non monogamy is a great means of triggering both the freedom and security needs of the masculine and feminine. However, this article is not about monogamy, polyamory, or any other way of relating with the opposite sex, it is about letting go of the fear based concept that commitment is founded in. Attempting to legislate relationship from the energy of fear will only perpetuate more fear, the energy must be released to transcend to a higher level of relating. From this new place, all labels disappear and one realizes that there is not a place that is NOT free or secure, ALL are free and secure! It is about moving away from the word “or” which is limiting and founded in lack, and moving into the word “and” which is about unlimited possibilities and abundance.

      The list at the following link (From 3D to 4D, a Higher Order of Relationship) will help you to understand the difference between 3rd density fear based love and 4th density truth based love. It is a channeling from the Pleiadians that resonates with what the Divine Pollination Hive is creating. Please feel free to reply if you’d like, BEE well Tamara!



  2. […] by Nathan on October 27, 2012 – 0 Comments My most popular article to date has been “The End of Commitment“, an article that explores the fear based roots of the concept of commitment in a wide range […]

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